None of you probably know about my family. and trust me thats a good thing. You dont want to know. These pst months... almost a year, my dad hasnt been part of my family. I mean he's here and all. but honestly, i feel empty. throughout all the anger he has put me through, through all the hurt, theres feeling within me that still wants him here. i know im stupid for saying this, but he's my dad. i used to go to him. he used to give me the laughs and be MY protector.
the protector i can look up to now is my older brother. whenever he visits, i feel whole again... now that my dad left, my family will never be the same. i want to hope that it will. but theres NO chance. and im not tryna be a pessimist.. but thats honestly the truth...
its really sad to say. and theres nothing i can do. like i said before i just have to be happy..
but how can i be happy under all of this?? mostly, what i do i just hide my emotions. if i vent out too much, i can tell that it hurts other people. AND I DONT WANT THAT. hah. caps.
mkay, im donefor now... gotta go to bedd. isleeeeepies.
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