oceans twelve

Lets just see what tmrw upholds. ThanksBye.

-mv

Thats just not how i wanted it to be

UH, so yeah todays monday and the talk that i was supposed to have with my "friend" didnt go to well. ugh i hate the mornings. idk what to do now. I dont think i tried hard enough.. but lets just see what tmrw brings to me. Stupid boys. So unpredictable.

I just hope he doesnt think im a total nerd. ASDF. i REALLY REALLY REALLY need to talk to this with him. theres a right time for everything.. right? maybe i just need to wait for that and make time take its course.. and try not to force things.. because thats what ive been doing and it doesnt seem to work .


Like i said, i dont know what to do and i dont knwo hwat im going to do ...and im totally new at this, no bueno. And to top it all of. my best friend pretty much hates me. GREAT.

NOW, lets see what tmrw unfolds.

hm, its actually time for hw. kbye.

WHAT DUH

what da, i didnt have any blogs for august and september. ugh. -__-
im sad now.
bye

Fergie-ferg whassup BBY!

when i come to the club step aside.. sdkfjlasdf yeah. okay jsut to fill you in with LIFE. uhh so for the bnp, me and the chapter; san fernando became part of the grand ultreya for this year. it was pretty nerve wrecking.. because i guess im finally old enogh to be a prat of it? i remeber when i was younger, i would be the ones who were watching it from the audience.. btu actually being on stage was hella scarry. NOW i know i messed up a bunch of times.. and i apologize. but Hey, im not perfect. LOL. and this friday, during vigil.. our chapter is gonna watch this one video for our performance and i know i sucked.. but oh well. atleast i dont get to see it. HAAH .

Hmm, what else with life.. well halloween is in 2 days. thats pretty exciting. and i havent bought a cstume. janey is throwing a partty, and my best friend erica cant make it. WONDERFUL. im probably just gonna use of the costumes from years back.

I have a APUSH test tmrw. and i am stupposed to be studying for it. CHAPTERS 13 through 16. Wish me luck. Right after this i am going to definately start studying LOLOL and its already eight thirty. thats just dandy.

Family.. is going through a rough time rightn ow. but i KNOW we'll get through it. We always will. And im here for them no matter what.

Lastly, theres actually a boy in my life. Not my boyfriend. no-no. But i like him. and i hope he likes me. WOAH;; hello junior high much? haha like i said im not used to this kind of stuff. and im quite shy and timid towards it. So, im jsut gonna let time take its course, like freal. cuhs im such a noob. but anyways this guy is a really sweet guy. Hes a gentleman and hes funny.
i. like. him. oh boy. iam so not ready for this.

welll heres an update. YES! :D
time to studyy<3 bye!

HM Take a look at this.

I understand, to undertake, to undermine, my undertaking !

yeah idk. so today was a pretty filled day. It was very, what might you say Uplifting? Well first off, the only reason why I'm awake is because im on myspace for once and I'm actually talking ot people. Hahaha, I havent tlaked to Garcia in ages. Well yeah, this myspae splur has been keeping me occupied for over an hour.

Anyways, back to my uplifting" day... Well I've gotten to know more about my sister. I really didn't know all the things she has bottled up inside. I now understand why she has been on the computer or ignores confrontation sometimes. Now im not trying to be Johnny Raincloud here, and ruin the moment but the thing that kind of made me sad was when she couldnt go to me for this kind of stuff. I thougt we were closer than that. Im trying to change. Honestly, I am. I am trying to be "chil" about her maple story friends and i just have to put a little trust in her. I just get a little suspicious that's all. This happens cuhs she acts like it. And I get very curious. OH well, I'm understanding her situation a little bit everyday and I'm trying to get over it. And keep my cool now. Thanks.

HM what elsee, OH heres a strong debate - Should I take AP Lang? Theres two weeks left into the summer, and i havent even started yet. Im leaning towards no go APLANG, BUT i really feel that i can finish that ISH, and try Ap Lang for a semester. DAMN. You know what i should be doing: the summer assignment besides this Post. hahahhaha Alright well im done for todayy.
_bye

Arryhay Otterpay ?

Psh, you know! You know! haha Harry Potter weekend, im not a freak about them harry potter movies, but thats just because I never really understood the story line.. Like my "excuse" is that, i was youngg. Let's say I was 8 or 9 when the first movie got out. ahaha

OH and, im nto one who has read all the books. Now that would be insaneee, meng. ahah not really. i think i coulve done it if i really felt like ittt. haahha i like it how twicce in this movie.. when they said "canon" the cananon would just blow right out. bahahahhah. 9 goblet of fire)

BTW, goblet of fire is my favorite HP movie. oh yess.

alright this weekend was lame, i havent talked to my sister since yesterday.. and believe me that is long time. Im really mad at her. And she doesnt seem to care, honestly. I feel that all she cares about is her maplestory crap. Also she really does like her friends, rather than family. I guess to some people, thats okay. OH well. i needa stopp.

okay off to my favorite part of the movie. byeee!

PEAYCEEE (:

Lesson Learned, Lesson Burned

Hahha, its not really a lesson.. but what i mean is that. Iwant to learn how to dance this one choreographed dance. 1st attempt was an epic fail. geez how depressing.. Im just embarrassing myself in front of the mirror. i mean, shet.
LOL. Damn, i wanna learn how to dance. ): *sigh

Oh Happy Summer Days ?
--More like oh boring summer days...
2 parties are coming upp this monthh. Maybe more? IDK. ughh Parties = money. Money that i dont have... OH geez.

I went to the gym today wth my pops.. im not that sore.. i was sore the first time. But it felt good this time.. My driving is getting better, kinda.. -___-
i try, i tryy

Feelin Somethin Different ?

I feel like this isnt my place. This isnt my place to be my own person. To establish what I have yet to become. What i want to be grown into. I feel that my presence isnt in the right place. Sometimes i feel, that my life wouldve been a whole lot better if i havent moved that one year, at the end of 2nd grade.

I loved my life at St. Gens. I was content and happy. A little private school, where all my friends were. Those were the first friends i made. I just wished that i had the chance to gow up with them, and catch those kodak moments with them. And hey, i dont regret my school years in Castaic and my first and second year of highschool in West Ranch, but i just would jsut wish that there was another way to keep in touch.

This all leads to: transfering to Valencia. The deals done, and i just have to see what comes. But deep inside, im terrified. Terrified of whats to come. I dont know the people there, how the academics and extra curriculars there are. I just dont know whats coming forth.

anyways, this is just whats in thought right now, and i'll prolly regret it. But i really dont know. But my biggest regret is moving. Anyways the point of this whole thing, is if i didnt move from my childhood valley, in the first place; i wouldnt be thinking of this whole thing.
*sigh

hmm, imNICE.

SONG: Somebody to Love (ella enchanted)

Hah, Just thought I'd out this in here. So I am currently eating a yummy popsicle. Hm, I took the last one. ): Woops my bad. but anyways, I thought it'd be pretty funny, if I left the box in there, so my sister can check that theres NOTHING in there. hah.

Karma's gonna bite me in the ass. Oh well.

I love you, sister stand strong. (:

test ittt

oh this is coool. i didnt think this would work. hahah wahoo. well this is me and my best friend,shelbo .
quic intro: I've known her since 6th grade. and we looove each other. We are there for each other 24/7. She oges to me for advice, even though im not the greatest advice giver. We are total opposites. And that sometimes gets in the way of our fights. haha but we're im alwys here for you girlll, andd. im so sorry that im leaving you. drive to my house.
as you can tell. im in a diff mood. ahahha wierdo!
byee<3

school as i know it//

school as I know it. Is gonna change. New school. Once again. i hope i am the person that i believe i am. that i hope i can be. I may be having some slight regrets for transfering, but theres really no turing bak now. Theres nothing i can do. I knew i wasnt happy at WR, and i knew i oculdnt do anything about it. INPUT [sometimes you make new friends, and become best friends. Others, you enjoy their company, although when it comes to them hanging out with their other friends, the enjoyment dissolves. Now ive made plenty of friends at WR, but thats exactly how i felt there. I mean you can call them your friends, but can you really call them friends, to start with. im not naming names. i jsut hate to think that about people. And its sad to. they may not think it. and HEY, i may have done it a few times, but its not right. and treat people the same.] OUTPUT. Now im just rambling.

yea i have to stop. OHKAY!. its summer, i better enjoy it. lol. I've realizd, when you think of the cons of transfering.. your gonna regret it. But when you think of the pro's, your gonna enjoy yourself. So even them out. and just live. I've realized that, HEY! ive made my decision already. It's set. Theres nothing i can do, but wait. And wait till the first day of school, all over again. anfd be yourself. And everything will be okay. (well lets hope)
Scratch That. Forget the pros and cons. JUST LIVE. AND BE HAPPY.
--although knowing me, that will be quite difficult.
thankyou<3

wooah, oaky i have to be done with this blog.
if i have more to write, i shall write more later. <3
had to get my mind off things (:

...So Much For a "Happy Fathers Day" ?

None of you probably know about my family. and trust me thats a good thing. You dont want to know. These pst months... almost a year, my dad hasnt been part of my family. I mean he's here and all. but honestly, i feel empty. throughout all the anger he has put me through, through all the hurt, theres feeling within me that still wants him here. i know im stupid for saying this, but he's my dad. i used to go to him. he used to give me the laughs and be MY protector.

the protector i can look up to now is my older brother. whenever he visits, i feel whole again... now that my dad left, my family will never be the same. i want to hope that it will. but theres NO chance. and im not tryna be a pessimist.. but thats honestly the truth...

its really sad to say. and theres nothing i can do. like i said before i just have to be happy..

but how can i be happy under all of this?? mostly, what i do i just hide my emotions. if i vent out too much, i can tell that it hurts other people. AND I DONT WANT THAT. hah. caps.
mkay, im donefor now... gotta go to bedd. isleeeeepies.

so.

as time goes by, we grow, change, and adapt to the people that have become a part of us.
also. to the "strangers" that have once been in our lives, but left for indescribable reasons, which enabled myself to become stronger.

in order to live your life LITERALLY to its fullest. just be happy. and love the people that love you. love the people that hate you. and most of all, be happy- no matter the struggles, the obstacles, the hardships; whether it comes in whole or in snippets. just be able to go within all of that and be happy!

<3